Found on Katurday.com

So first off, let me say thank you very much for getting me Guitar Hero, co-blogger. It was an awesome Christmas present that I truly wanted. I have had hours of fun galore. Yet it is ruining my life! Every song I listen to, I imagine if it would make a rockin’ guitar hero song. And when I hear the songs from the game, it is all I can do to not start doing an awesomely (lame) air guitar hero along. Now it is creeping into my work life too. After reading about the Devilish Debate to End Church of England, it took more restraint than you might think to only scream “6-6-6! The Number of the Beast!” (which I screech every time I play the Iron Maiden tune) and not put it up on the homepage. Also, I think it is giving me carpal tunnel syndrome. Where is the Hero to rescue me from this game?

On the upside, at least I enjoy the humor of its constant references on TV:

Related: Conan plays real guitar as staffers play Rock Band:

Is it wrong that I find this clip hysterical?

Or that when I caught it on TV, I immediatedly recorded it and watched it like 12 or 13 times? For those who don’t remember the Kool-Aid man, here’s a memory-jogging parody that also teaches when not to call him:

The end of 2007 has my fame rising from t-list to p-list as I now not only join my father and mother in an IMDB listing, have gone all international with the poker wisdom, but also have been spotted on the Metro North in poster form by a friend! Now all I have left is to get my own Wikipedia page. Then, E-list, here I come.

Now, I’m known for my love of kids shows, from the Muppets to the Tick, but I haven’t fell in love with a new one in quite a while. About a month ago, I was introduced to “What the Kids Are Watching” on The Soup to a new show:

Which prompted me to seek it out on my DVR, despite only remembering that it had a name like Yabba Dabba Do or Gamma Go or Yo MTV Raps. At first, my blog co-author made fun of me for taping it, but after one episode, he realized that I was a gabba genius for recording gems like this:

Carrots want to go the party in Brobee’s tummy! Who wouldn’t??? Toby wants in on the Brobee party!
More research found that the music is so good cause it’s written by real bands — and I love how the show gets kids to move (there is a whole subsection on YouTube of kids dancing in front of this show) and go crazy. It also teaches important lessons like don’t bite your friends, how to draw a cat, that picking up your room is fun to a reggae beat, or how to beatbox.

So seriously, check out Yo Gabba Gabba. It is the one reason to turn to Nick Jr if you are over 13. Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s time for me to Dancey dance.

So on our last weekend of free New York Times, courtesy of our European travelin’ neighbor, I pick up the book review to find a sketchy picture of a former professor of mine, Denis Johnson. Oh goodie! I think. A new book — and since it’s on the cover, it’s probably good. I was a sucker for Johnson’s work even before he came into class and told us, after riffling through jumbled pages for the key advice he had written down to advise us, the eager, hungry writers, to ‘write naked. Write in blood.’ Later he cried in class. Which seemed sweet, until I learned he did it in his other class too. Anyway, that’s beside the point and makes it seem as if I didn’t value him as a teacher, when in fact I enjoyed his first class so much I came back for seconds. Anyhow.

I learned from the review that it was a capital M capital N Major Novel, and the reviewer definitely liked it, but more than anything else, I came away with a sense of the massive laziness and weird opinions of the reviewer, as I have in past weeks.

For instance: The 6-paragraph review of last week of “Bad Monkeys” that spent a full two paragraphs on how disappointed the reviewer was in the over-lengthy acknowledgements. Jonathan Ames, the reviewer, had ‘a real quibble’ with them. A two-paragraph quibble. Really, Ames? You think anyone gives a shit what you think about the acknowledgements? Has anyone in the history of book buying ever bought or not bought a book because they were turned off by the ‘elaborate acknowledgements’? Did you just read the first and last pages and try to cobble a review together, realize you needed two paragraphs more and go for the acknowledgements, man? I mean, I was in college too, once, and I know about padding out a paper to a book I never read, but I never sunk to criticizing the dedication. Sure, I changed the font to courier, but I stuck to the meat of things.

Which brings me back to the review of Johnson’s new book. Jim Lewis does, in fact, review the book. And he likes “Tree of Smoke,” which will, he predicts, “secure Johnson’s status as a revelator for this still new century — a prediction I voice confidently but reluctantly, and with a little disappointment and dismay.” Why the dismay? Because in his view, Johnson is ” an elusive figure, one of the last of the marginal masters.” And how does he come to this conclusion?: “He’s not a recluse, but he’s not out humping his ego, either: I’ve never read an interview with him (though I haven’t looked very hard), or seen a picture of him that wasn’t on one of his book jackets.”

Hey Lewis, here’s an interview and another one and wouldn’t you know, they both have pictures. And look at this! And This! I did have help finding them from my personal research assistant, Mr. Google. But dude, he was IN ‘Jesus’ Son,’ The movie of his book? Which you seem to have read. It’s not a walk on cameo. He’s the guy with the knife in his eye. Knife. Eye. Hard to miss. Jack Black was in that scene?

Mr. Lewis continues, “I can’t help hoping that it leaves his status unchanged. We don’t need any more novelist-performers or novelist-pundits or novelist-narcissists, but we very badly need more novelists who can write this well.” On reading a sentence like this, I cringe. Why does it matter if Denis Johnson wants to be a novelist-performer (he plays a mean guitar) or writes political essays or nonfiction (he has), and more importantly, why should I care that Mr. Lewis has this hope/fear and what does it matter to whether or not it’s a good book? It’s not that I don’t understand putting the personal into a review (look at this blog post) but 1) I’m not writing for the Times and 2) this is a blog. I’ve read some great reviews in the Times that have advised me well to buy or not buy books, but reviews that call attention to the reviewer or call attention to whether they are fans of google or don’t know how to use the Internet do nothing but distract. We don’t need any more reviewer-pundits or reviewer-narcissists, but we sorely need reviewers who can write good reviews.

Well, when I'm in Sunnyvale anyway.

In the category of misleading pictures, I give you the image at left. It says, don’t worry about your colposcopies, ladies — it’s just like reaching into a bright, pink and green pinata! In goes the hand, out comes candy! It actually makes me feel kinda cheated, cause in all my many visits to the gynocologist, I’ve never even gotten a lollipop.